How often are you giving advice to others? Did they ask you for your advice?
Somehow it got built into us that when someone is expressing a challenge, not doing something how we would do it or is upset, we are so quick to give advice. And probably 99% of the time, the other person wasn't asking for advice.
A coach of mine calls this, "unsolicited advice." We are so quick to give it.
Sometimes, or I should say, the majority of the time, people are expressing what is going on for them because it feels good to express it, to speak it out, to get out the anger, sadness or frustration. And how powerful is it to be the person to truly listen to them?!
Not listening to respond.
Not listening and thinking about what you would do.
Not listening to cut them off while they are speaking.
Not listening to brush off what they are saying/what they are feeling.
But...truly listening...with nothing on your mind. How often can you say you listen in this way?
As a manager, leader, teammate, mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son, friend, partner, etc. can you give the people in your life the gift of listening?
The gift of presence.
The gift of caring about what they are saying.
The gift of quieting your own mind.
The gift of connection.
The gift of really seeing and witnessing this person in front of you.
It all comes back to s l o w i n g down. When I'm not really listening, I am more likely to be quick, give advice or brush off someone's feelings because I am too busy in my mind and not in my body or in presence.